Weep You No More Sad Fountains

SUN

I’ve entitled this post “Weep You No More Sad Fountains” But it could easily be called “Joy Comes”    or  “Sleep.”

In life,   we all have good days and bad days.

For me , yesterday was a bad day and I’m still having a hard time shaking it.    Yet it is funny where our minds go to help us heal.   In this case it brought me to two poems.   Well, a psalm and a poem.  Yes that’s right.  Two poems. Two songs. Maybe three

The first is Psalm 30

I praise you, LORD, for you raised me up

and did not let my enemies rejoice over me.

O LORD, my God,

I cried out to you for help and you healed me.

LORD, you brought my soul up from Sheol;

you let me live, from going down to the pit.

II

Sing praise to the LORD, you faithful;

give thanks to his holy memory.

For his anger lasts but a moment;

his favor a lifetime.

At dusk weeping comes for the night;

but at dawn there is rejoicing.

Those lines, “weeping comes for the night, but at dawn there is rejoicing.” have brought me solace through many a difficult time.   The sentiment of the whole psalm is rich as I could so relate to the feeling of going down, down, down into the pit.

And as loose association would have it, the second poem is one that I sang in a voice recital.   In hindsight that grouping of songs was probably a bummer…. because  I know I did two versions of “Weep You No More Sad Fountains”   and one of “Slow, Slow, Fresh Font.”   As an exercise in comparing and contrasting musical interpretations it was wonderful for me as a voice student but probably a lot of dark for those in attendance.    Hmm… I should see if I can find the videos of that.

In this song it is the beautiful line that  “sleep is a reconciling,  a rest that peace begets”  that has reminded me many a time to “go to sleep it will be better tomorrow.”  Though sometimes,  that dark night that strikes is even harder to deal with. When you can’t sleep, you can’t pray, you can’t be awake, and you are just not sure how to be.  It is a matter of waiting

Weep You No More Sad Fountains

Weep you no more, sad fountains;

What need you flow so fast?

Look how the snowy mountains

Heaven’s sun doth gently waste!

But my sun’s heavenly eyes

View not your weeping,

That now lies sleeping,

Softly now, softly lies Sleeping.

 

Sleep is a reconciling,

A rest that peace begets;

Doth not the sun rise smiling

When fair at e’en he sets?

Rest you, then, rest, sad eyes!

Melt not in weeping,

While she lies sleeping,

Softly now, softly lies Sleeping.

This has been set to music by more than a dozen composers, and was recently found in the movie “Sense and Sensibility”  with a setting by Patrick Doyle.   Strangely,   one of the most beautiful versions available of this text available now is by STING…..   how strange and versatile that man is.    He may not have the standard counter tenor sound, but he surely imparts the emotion.

I sang the Roger Quilter setting:

And the John Dowland

From “Sense and Sensibilities”

 

The last poem I spoke of is below.  I found some madrigal settings of it, but not the solo version I did.  I believe

 Slow, Slow, Fresh Fount
 Slow, slow, fresh fount, keep time with my salt tears;
   Yet slower, yet, O faintly, gentle springs!
   List to the heavy part the music bears,
   Woe weeps out her division, when she sings.
       Droop herbs and flowers;
       Fall grief in showers;
       Our beauties are not ours.
               O, I could still,
   Like melting snow upon some craggy hill,
       Drop, drop, drop, drop,
Since nature’s pride is now a withered daffodil.
Ben Johnson 1572-1637

Almost an Exodus…….

Now that we are in the Easter Season, perhaps one shouldn’t be thinking of Exodus journeys any more.   I’m in my office on a bit of a cleaning jag.   There is probably enough dust here to liken it to any desert, but that is another story.   In my putterings, I found a copy of IMPRESSIONS, a literature magazine from Dickinson State University in 1992. I found in it several old friends, that is poems and prose that I almost forgot I wrote.    One of them stuck out and I thought I would share it tonight.

desert-wallpapers-hd

ALMOST AN EXODUS

I was there

but where was it that I was?

Placed suddenly, swiftly

in an environment

I neither knew, or understood.

And yet,

I said I would come.

 

So I began

wondering and wandering

Cursing….

the vastness, the dryness,

the heat of day,

the bitter cold at night.

Little creatures, cactus flowers,

I would not, could not see you

in my self pity and fears

I traveled ’round and ’round, again and again

I could not even tell where I had been.

 

MIRAGES….

Is that You?

You SHOULD look like that.

I’ve traveled far enough!

I deserve a break!

So I ran towards it with all my strength.

On my arrival,

I found nothing but sand.

Throwing a handful, I screamed,

“Damn You!” Where are You when I need You?”

 

 

So I began

wondering and wandering

Cursing . . . .

the vastness, the dryness,

the heat of day

the bitter cold at night.

Little creatures, cactus flowers,

I would not, could not see you

in my self pity and fears

I traveled ’round and ’round, again and again

Not even recognizing where I had been.

 

In my emptiness

I cried once more,

“I am failing! I do not know

how or where to go next.

I cannot do it.”

 

So I began

wondering and wandering

and then, when I did not expect it,

an Oasis appeared.

The Water was so large,

I drank all I could,

till I could drink no more;

the quietly I rested

in the shelter of its shore.

I would have liked to stay there

peaceful and content

but I knew

the journey had not ended.

 

So We began,

wondering and wandering

Praising . . . .

the vastness, the dryness,

the heat of day,

the bitter cold at night,

Little creatures, cactus flowers,

Sunbaked Mud in Desert

Have you always been there?

How beautiful you are.

 

I was there

but where was it that I was?

Placed suddenly, swiftly

in an evironment

I neither knew, or understood.

And yet, You bid me to come.

 

Jill Maria Murdy-circa  a long time ago

 

 

To Music

Its been a long day  and I don’t have the energy to create something fresh, but  wanted to be faithful to poetry month.   I thought,  “Hmm    what are some of the things my friends have written about music?” Of course for every good piece, there are a zillion that I should not have unearthed. But let me share a couple that touched me:

Walter de la Mare was an English poet. 1873 – 1956.

Music 
When music sounds, gone is the earth I know, 
And all her lovely things even lovelier grow; 
Her flowers in vision flame, her forest trees 
Lift burdened branches, stilled with ecstasies. 
When music sounds, out of the water rise 
Naiads whose beauty dims my waking eyes, 
Rapt in strange dreams burns each enchanted face, 
With solemn echoing stirs their dwelling-place. 
When music sounds, all that I was I am 
Ere to this haunt of brooding dust I came; 
And from Time’s woods break into distant song 
The swift-winged hours, as I hasten along.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love the line  “When music sounds, all that I was I am.”  It reminds me of Exodus, 3: 14 where Moses first meets God, who says  “I am who I am.”   Music has that sacred, transcendent quality about it.  I am ever grateful she is my muse.

Another favorite comes from the Bard himself:

Sonnet 128: How oft, when thou, my music, music play’st by William Shakespeare
How oft, when thou, my music, music play’st,
Upon that blessèd wood whose motion sounds
With thy sweet fingers when thou gently sway’st
The wiry concord that mine ear confounds,
Do I envy those jacks that nimble leap
To kiss the tender inward of thy hand,
Whilst my poor lips, which should that harvest reap,
At the wood’s boldness by thee blushing stand!
To be so tickled, they would change their state
And situation with those dancing chips
O’er whom thy fingers walk with gentle gait,
Making dead wood more blest than living lips.
Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,
Give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It starts right away with the very beginning of the poem: “How oft, when thou, my music, music play’st, Upon that blessèd wood whose motion sounds With thy sweet fingers when thou gently sway’st”       Did you know that the Spanish word for playing guitar is   tocare la guitarra “to touch” the guitar.  It is such an intimate gesture, in contrast to just playing the the guitar.   And if you look at the guitar, or almost any instrument,  one does that. You
embrace it, and it embraces you and makes sweet music in return.
Ironically  Shakespeare always seems to lead me to Schubert’s “Die Musik”  that is  “To Music.”   which is such a beautiful piece, whether it is an instrumental or vocal performance. The texts seem to steal from each other quite readily .


German.png German text

Du holde Kunst, in wieviel grauen Stunden,
Wo mich des Lebens wilder Kreis umstrickt,
Hast du mein Herz zu warmer Lieb entzunden,
Hast mich in eine beßre Welt entrückt!
Oft hat ein Seufzer, deiner Harf’ entflossen,
Ein süßer, heiliger Akkord von dir
Den Himmel beßrer Zeiten mir erschlossen,
Du holde Kunst, ich danke dir dafür!


English.png English translation
by Gerard Mackworth-Young

O gracious Art, in how many grey hours
When life’s fierce orbit encompassed me,
Hast thou kindled my heart to warm love,
Hast charmed me into a better world!
Oft has a sigh, issuing from thy harp,
A sweet, blest chord of thine,
Thrown open the heaven of better times;
O gracious Art, for that I thank thee!
With that dear friends, I bid you a blessed night.   Be thankful for the music, the poetry and those who hear it and make it.   

Our Hearts

In praying with the scriptures of today  http://usccb.org/bible/readings/040313.cfm   one hears the story about the Road to Emmaus,  and other early stories of the Apostles.   In honor of Poetry Month,   I’m breaking away from my standard Haiku.

I thought it would be fun to pull out the basic formats from my youth.    Today’s  verse is in Iambic Pentameter, meaning each line has ten syllables    weak strong weak strong.

Emmaus
“Are not our hearts burning within?” we sighed.

Have we not seen our Risen Lord indeed?

How often do we miss our God revealed

throughout our day in many simple ways?

In family and friends, all nature sings

“Rejoice you hearts that seek the Lord.” Amen.

But then,  I started thinking and remembering all those who have walked with me, and supported me even through all the rough and bumpy times in life,  and I was again feeling overwhelmed with gratitude.

SONY DSC

Sojourn begins all fresh and new, and clean.

The optimism of our youth abounds.

The road looks short, the path is all mapped out,

so many bumps and detours yet unseen.

Along the way we meet new faces too

For but a short time we quickly forget

Others reach in and touch our very souls.

They walk beside us, laughing in the sun,

or silently and still when night has come. 

Picking us up, gently dusting us off

urging us on when we have no more steps.

And when we reach the journey’s end we cry

once more: “Are not our hearts burning within?”

Have we not seen our Risen Lord indeed?

 Jill Maria April 3, 2013

April Poetry Month hmmmmm which came first?

April is National Poetry Month.      Many of my friends are writing posts about it on Facebook and other such happy places.    I think I’m too tired to write a poem tonight, but want  to talk about poets and poetry and literature and life.   My undergrad is in music, and it has always been part of my vocation and avocation.

As such, I am a “Jill of all trades, master of none.”   I am a trained vocalist, play multiple styles of  guitar, sax, and trombone well.  As a former band instructor, I have at least a semester on a zillion other instruments so could understand them and do basic fingering charts etc and play well enough to stay ahead of a Jr. High player.

I can usually handle my own on the keyboards, but no matter what, that is always a secondary skill for me.  I have a couple of musician friends who are gifted in ways that I could never even fathom.   Yes, They have been gifted, and they’ve also worked incredibly hard to be what I call ‘thoroughbred’ musicians….they are skilled at a level that I can barely even covet.     Thankfully they are generous with their time and talents, and I’ve been able to work with them for most of my large liturgies, and other musical events.    When I have to play for something important, I actually pray that their spirit may enter my fingers.

I’m reminded of a quote I’ve heard attributed to a couple of people:  “A genius! For 37 years I’ve practiced fourteen hours a day, and now they call me a genius!” –Pablo Sarasate (Spanish violinist)  The truth of the matter is the musicians I mention had both a natural gift and a discipline that I will never have.

My brain frequently works in loose associations, and friends and  associates  either marvel or cringe at the fact that you can say dang near anything and I will break into song.   It could be a popular song, an oldy, or a freshly minted paraphrase on an existing tune just to fit the situation.

This actually comes in handy when I am doing liturgy preparations.   When I meet with a funeral family, or look at Sunday’s liturgy,  I can read the scripture, or listen to the story about the deceased, and think of a song that would be a really good fit. I had a boss once who used to call me  “the human jukebox. ”

What I am saying  is that LYRICS are very important to me.   If I get a new CD, I’ll play it over and over until I have internalized the whole thing and know the text and the changes.   Sadly, people in the pews don’t always catch the  painstaking steps one takes to tie together the hymns with the scriptures and prayers.   Or it is an AHA moment when one realizes “Hey, those hymns went right a long with what Father said today…..”

You know, it doesn’t matter how great the homily was though, more people are going to leave the liturgy humming the final hymn than the homily.   Music has such a subliminal ability to carry the message, and to connect life moments.   I could do a whole life timeline by what I was doing  or where I was at in life when I heard that song, or where I prayed that hymn for the first time.

So  where all this is leading  is to a major insight I had a few years ago.   For many many years, I thought of myself as a musician who liked to write, but a few years ago, I had an AHA moment and in that epiphany, discovered that I was actually a writer, who makes music.    Perhaps that may seem like splitting hairs,  but it was an important piece of self knowledge, and that gnosis  has given me a truer vision of my gifts and my talents as well as my strengths and weaknesses.

The rich imagery and poetry of the Psalms have always been some of my favorite parts of scripture, and how those lines of poetry that I prayed daily for so many years in the Monastery  still come back as a source of strength and insight to me now.   It seems the right line and emotion are always there.

We just finished Holy Week and the Sacred Easter Triduum.  Perhaps the most powerful moment for me was Sunday AM after communion, when the congregation sang a hymn together that summarized all that we had been through.   M. D. Ridge’s beautiful “Three Days” set to Gustav Holtz’s THAXTED  http://www.ocp.org/products/129171  In its concise three stanza format, it captured all that hours of prayer had said, creating a ‘nutshell’ version that was ever so rich.

KALEIDOSCOPE_WEBSo, as we begin this month of poetry I’m reflecting back to the influences on my life:  Our primary reader series (school was JUST beginning to move away from Dick and Jane (Kaleidoscopes)  with Miss Olson.  (Panorama and Serendipity were the other books in that series… they were so cool, and I loved those big words!)

The Roberts English books (remember one had the turqoise stripes on the covers and others were patterned?)   It was there with Mrs. Dannis, Mrs.McIvor, John Moffatt, and so many others that I learned Robert Frost’s “stopping by the woods on a snowy evening” and “the road not taken”  Walt Whitman, and Joyce Kilmer’s “Tree”  and so very many other poems. But my very favorite was a line from Shakespeare that I still tend to throw out in odd places and situations:  “And greasy John doth keel the pot!”  It appears the actual quote is  “While greasy JOAN doth keel the pot” but I always pictured a big sloppy guy in renaissance clothes…. for many years I had it that way, until I actually looked it up a few years ago and discovered it was all Joan’s fault

6600829-L

When icicles hang by the wall,  
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,  
And milk comes frozen home in pail,  
When blood is nipp’d, and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl, 
To-whit! To-who!—a merry note,  
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.  
 
When all aloud the wind doe blow,
And coughing drowns the parson’s saw,  
And birds sit brooding in the snow,  
And Marian’s nose looks red and raw,  
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,  
Then nightly sings the staring owl,
To-whit! To-who!—a merry note,  
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.

Love’s Labour’s Lost, V.ii; written circa 1593

I remember a Bismarck State instructor, Arnold Lahren, who taught  Doug Blumhardt, Isolde, Cynthia Trondstat nee Katharine Swanson the importance of poetry, and accepted our feeble efforts and attempts and found some greatness in them.  Kathleen Norris and her husband poet  David Dwyer, David Whyte,  and Anne Sexton gave me an appreciation for contemporary poets.

Yet, all that paled when I first experienced someone writing a love sonnet for me.  It moved past the intellectual, even beyond the spiritual, as there were those wonderful, terrible, truly ineffable vicissitudes of emotion that accompanied it.   For when a simple statement is not enough,  when one needs to wax eloquent, or to try and find the perfect word, then only a poem will do.

It is late, the month is young, and while I have strayed far from my initial concept, there is much more to be said about poetry, but I will leave it for another day.

 

 

First Day That FELT Like Spring

finally warm sun
open office window chimes
children skipping ropeyouthful ignorance
passion,death,resurrection
have not touched their liveshow many doctors
did it take? one, skip, two skip
rope snapping sharply

how many doctors
will it take? o crack, my old
knees snapping sharply

when did that childhood
move so very far away
distant like a dream

(reflection on watching the school children from my window this very long day 🙂

March 28, 2013
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